Warning: tonight I am an opinionated housewife who has had a few glasses of wine!
As you all know I have been seeking work for a couple of months now. My husband and I have agreed that it will probably benefit our whole family if I return to work because it will make me happier and that will benefit everyone else. Unfortunately for me, I'm at the bottom of the job candidate food chain what with my lack of non-mommy skills and poor work history. So . . . I'm still just a stay at home mom. Yes, I recognize the value of raising my own kids, and I certainly know that I am doing hard work everyday. But at the risk of being criticized by other moms, it's just not fulfilling to me. I used to dress professionally and interact with adults every day, and now I wear jeans and a ponytail everyday and I have semi-coherent conversations with my two year old. No one in my social circle thinks that I do anything more than play and relax all day. I have seen a study citing that working moms are in better mental health than stay at home moms and I agree with it wholeheartedly. I struggle a lot with the idea that no one really thinks that what I'm doing is hard, while work out of the home moms are held out as "supermom".
Does it not sound hard to spend your whole day assisting two other people with the most basic of human functions, such as using the bathroom, eating and moving from one room to another? Of course I chose all of this by choosing to have kids, but no one save for early childhood instructors really knows what they're signing up for when they choose to have kids. The first year of your first child's life is a crash course in selflessness. You are no longer "number one" to yourself, and that is a HARD thing to stomach. I don't take care of myself like I used to before I had kids, and I don't think of my own needs as much. I don't expect any pity because of this, because I chose motherhood. But the bare minimum that society could do is recognize the hard work and sacrifice that stay at home moms, and indeed, all moms, do in rearing our next generation. Moms everywhere, but especially stay at home moms are undervalued in our society and it is a crying shame.
I have not lost the skills I once had as a functional member of the work force and actually, I have acquired a great deal of new skills as a result of my experience as a stay at home mom. If I am invaluable to employers, it is their loss. But I am still the one who is at a loss. Our society just does not place the value upon mothers that it should.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
The Personal Lives of Candidates
The political world has been abuzz ever since John McCain announced on Thursday that his running mate would be Sarah Palin, 44 year old governor of Alaska. The pick seemed to be great to many because she is much more conservative than McCain which undoubtedly appeals to the staunch Republicans who were not enthusiastic about supporting him. Indeed, she seems to be everything he is not; young, conservative and in touch with the general public. Her husband is apparently a blue collar oil worker and she has 5 kids ranging in age from 18 to 4 months. Her infant son has Down's Syndrome. Yep . . . she should definitely be able to relate to middle class America, mothers and families with special needs children. Or at least I'm sure that's what the McCain campaign is counting on.
Today it was announced that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant. I am active on a number of forums that have all been buzzing about this all day and there seem to be two themes emerging. One group seems to think that an unwed, pregnant teen daughter has no bearing on Palin's quality as a vice presidential candidate and that it's none of our business because it's completely irrelevant to the election. The other half believes that the fact that Palin's own daughter is pregnant out of wedlock undermines her advocacy of Christian values.
Barack Obama released a statement reacting to news of the pregnancy saying that, "I have said before and I will repeat again: People's families are off limits," he went on to say, "This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as governor, or her potential performance as a vice president."
What do you think? I see the altruistic value of leaving a child who is not, herself, running for public office, out of the national political spotlight. But I can't help my feelings that this situation does deal a blow to Sarah Palin's, and indeed, the entire Republican party's platform of family values. Let's start with abstinence only sex ed in schools. If the child of someone like Sarah Palin is having sex out of wedlock, why should anyone think that other teens are heeding the message of abstinence only? Yes, abstinence is the best choice and should be promoted to teens, but they need to know WHY abstinence is the best choice before we can realistically expect them to do it. They need to know what the real, perhaps negative and lifelong consequences of having sex are. They need to know that all methods of contraception have a failure rate. Once they know those things, that's when we should be telling them that abstinence is the best choice. So as much as I want to forget about the fact that Palin's daughter is pregnant and stop talking about it, I can't.
I feel that the personal life of a candidate for public office offers insight into how they will conduct themselves if they are elected. I don't know if the pregnancy of Palin's daughter by itself offers any kind of new insight about her, but her conduct from here on will. Will she continue to advocate for abstinence only sex ed despite the fact that it was ineffective in her personal life? I think it matters.
Today it was announced that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant. I am active on a number of forums that have all been buzzing about this all day and there seem to be two themes emerging. One group seems to think that an unwed, pregnant teen daughter has no bearing on Palin's quality as a vice presidential candidate and that it's none of our business because it's completely irrelevant to the election. The other half believes that the fact that Palin's own daughter is pregnant out of wedlock undermines her advocacy of Christian values.
Barack Obama released a statement reacting to news of the pregnancy saying that, "I have said before and I will repeat again: People's families are off limits," he went on to say, "This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as governor, or her potential performance as a vice president."
What do you think? I see the altruistic value of leaving a child who is not, herself, running for public office, out of the national political spotlight. But I can't help my feelings that this situation does deal a blow to Sarah Palin's, and indeed, the entire Republican party's platform of family values. Let's start with abstinence only sex ed in schools. If the child of someone like Sarah Palin is having sex out of wedlock, why should anyone think that other teens are heeding the message of abstinence only? Yes, abstinence is the best choice and should be promoted to teens, but they need to know WHY abstinence is the best choice before we can realistically expect them to do it. They need to know what the real, perhaps negative and lifelong consequences of having sex are. They need to know that all methods of contraception have a failure rate. Once they know those things, that's when we should be telling them that abstinence is the best choice. So as much as I want to forget about the fact that Palin's daughter is pregnant and stop talking about it, I can't.
I feel that the personal life of a candidate for public office offers insight into how they will conduct themselves if they are elected. I don't know if the pregnancy of Palin's daughter by itself offers any kind of new insight about her, but her conduct from here on will. Will she continue to advocate for abstinence only sex ed despite the fact that it was ineffective in her personal life? I think it matters.
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