Undervaluing Stay at Home Moms

Warning: tonight I am an opinionated housewife who has had a few glasses of wine!

As you all know I have been seeking work for a couple of months now. My husband and I have agreed that it will probably benefit our whole family if I return to work because it will make me happier and that will benefit everyone else. Unfortunately for me, I'm at the bottom of the job candidate food chain what with my lack of non-mommy skills and poor work history. So . . . I'm still just a stay at home mom. Yes, I recognize the value of raising my own kids, and I certainly know that I am doing hard work everyday. But at the risk of being criticized by other moms, it's just not fulfilling to me. I used to dress professionally and interact with adults every day, and now I wear jeans and a ponytail everyday and I have semi-coherent conversations with my two year old. No one in my social circle thinks that I do anything more than play and relax all day. I have seen a study citing that working moms are in better mental health than stay at home moms and I agree with it wholeheartedly. I struggle a lot with the idea that no one really thinks that what I'm doing is hard, while work out of the home moms are held out as "supermom".

Does it not sound hard to spend your whole day assisting two other people with the most basic of human functions, such as using the bathroom, eating and moving from one room to another? Of course I chose all of this by choosing to have kids, but no one save for early childhood instructors really knows what they're signing up for when they choose to have kids. The first year of your first child's life is a crash course in selflessness. You are no longer "number one" to yourself, and that is a HARD thing to stomach. I don't take care of myself like I used to before I had kids, and I don't think of my own needs as much. I don't expect any pity because of this, because I chose motherhood. But the bare minimum that society could do is recognize the hard work and sacrifice that stay at home moms, and indeed, all moms, do in rearing our next generation. Moms everywhere, but especially stay at home moms are undervalued in our society and it is a crying shame.

I have not lost the skills I once had as a functional member of the work force and actually, I have acquired a great deal of new skills as a result of my experience as a stay at home mom. If I am invaluable to employers, it is their loss. But I am still the one who is at a loss. Our society just does not place the value upon mothers that it should.